The Art of Self-Soothing

When I first heard the term 'self-soothe' I must admit I thought it sounded a little strange. This was something that babies learned to do, and I couldn't see how it would be beneficial to me as an adult. But then when reading about DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and how self-soothing was one of the therapy's Distress Tolerance strategies, I realised this could actually be beneficial to quite a lot of individuals.

Karyn Hall (2012) discusses in her article Self-Soothing: Calming the Amygdala and Reducing the Effects of Trauma that self-soothing is in fact a very basic, but important skill for our emotional and physical well-being. She talks in particular about soothing the amygdala, the part of our brain that triggers that flight or fight response that can, in some people, be over-active and cause panic attacks and subsequent anxiety disorders. But self-soothing isn't just good for those with personality and/or anxiety disorders - it can be beneficial to know how to self-soothe when you're feeling depressed, low, anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed too - emotions and feelings that I'm sure many of us have experienced.

So what does self-soothing look like?

In DBT, self-soothing looks at using one or more of the fives senses.

From theartofdbt.blogspot.com

Self-soothing acts are normally physical acts, but can make us feel calmer, relaxed and happier for doing them. The great thing is is that there's so many ways you can self-soothe it's about finding what works best for you. Try and vary what senses you are using and see if one works particularly well for you.

Lisa Dietz (DBTselfhelp.com) suggests that we may find it difficult at first to self-soothe. We often find it easier to hurt or punish ourselves that we do to comfort ourselves and do something that causes pleasure. She suggests that by practising self-soothing techniques when you feel overwhelmed, anxious, low or generally needing some down-time, it will really help and that eventually you will become more skilled in self-soothing. 

Illustration by Heidi Hanson for Peter Levine's Self-Holding Exercises

This is something that Karyn Hall also talks about. When we create sensations or an environment that is relaxing (for example sitting in a hot bubble bath or drinking a nice cup of tea) then this can calm the body's alert system and as a result, allows our prefrontal cortex to think and plan again. 

There's so many awesome suggestions on the internet for self-soothing too. I asked some of you to share what you do to self-soothe and I had some lovely answers. I've shared these below:

• "I sew, or make cards" - Karen H.
• "When I'm anxious, I try and concentrate on deep breathing" - Carly D.
• "Reading. Escaping into a world of fiction!" - Mark C. 
• "Walking outside is great, even for 10/15 minutes. Even better if the sun's shining!" - Caroline E. 
• "Paint my nails, use my favourite products, hold a soft toy..." - Joy I.
• "Water is extremely calming for me... It's not about cleaning anything. I just take a bath, put my feet in a stream, or something of the like" - Ryan E. 
• "[Focused] breathing from the belly not the chest" - Nicole S. 
• "Bake!" - Cupcakes and Anxiety

I also really like these little images bursting to the seams with self-soothing ideas. They're great to print off and put up somewhere.

Further Reading

DBTSelfHelp.com

Self-Soothing: Calming the Amygdala and Reducing the Effects of Trauma

Self-Soothing Techniques

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this post. :-)

Comment below with how you self-soothe. 

Much love,

AG -x-